Losing your loved one to suicide ignites an all-consuming fire of a terrible angst: anger, guilt, and sometimes shame, all mix into grief, creating an unbearable vortex of pain. Even though you understand that these feelings are wrong turns, that they serve only to hurt you more, because of the sheer enormity of all you are experiencing, you need more help.

So right now, I am taking your hand and placing it over my heart.

Listen. Your loved one is begging this of you now. You need to understand why suicide happens to good people.
The answer is presented here as an exercise in imagination:

We are imagining the energetic form of love is the light. We are all born of the one light. You, your loved one, every person on earth is born of the one light. No one is ever outside the light. Our physical form, these bodies are but temporary vessels for our consciousness, allowing us to experience this, the material plane on earth.

As we march through our time here, we inevitably encounter things that alter our light. Picture these as strands of dark energy. This shadow energy brings us fear, anger, shame, hatred, despair, depression and loneliness. Shadow energy is that which separates us from the light.

Most of us find practices that transmute, push out and eliminate this shadow energy. These are universal among people and cultures: spiritual, meditative and religious practices that connect us to love and transcendence; exercise that ignites our sense of well-being; joyful and contemplative activities like immersing oneself in bounty and beauty of nature, art and music; even elevated thoughts, positivity, laughter. These all serve to dispense shadow energy, these dark strands in our consciousness, while simultaneously sustaining or increasing our light.
People end their lives (and do things to hurt other people) when the darkness temporarily overcomes their light. Sometimes this darkness is a small and petty thing that would have, if given the chance, dispersed in a day or two, understood as utterly inconsequential and easily overcome. Other times the darkness that weighed upon our loved one’s light was potent, tenacious and utterly unbearable. You might know the reasons for your loved one’s suicide or you might never know.

In the most meaningful sense, the reasons do not matter now.

You need only to understand your loved one is in the light now. 

All their pain and sadness are gone, swept away like a nightmare upon waking.

Close your eyes. Picture your loved one as their best self. This is who they are now. Only they recognize the burden their suicide has left you. This is what they desperately wish to undo. Because, you see, of their love for you.

Right now, as you read these words, the light of their love for you, so much more than you can know, is shining over you.

Let it in. Hold it close.

Imagine them telling you they are okay now.
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Imagine them showering you with a glittering white light of love.