People often say that time is grief’s antidote, but you will discover love is grief’s tonic.

The first hint of this comes, when upon news of your loss, love arrives in the support of family and friends. You need this now more than you ever will. Your tears manifest most easily when you confront heartfelt sympathy in others. This is no accident either. It points you in the right direction, sending you into the arms of those who love you.

People call, write, show up on your doorstep. Their faces are full of concern, worry, their own sadness. They often arrive bearing gifts of comfort: food, drink, flowers, themselves. They press poems and prayers into your hands. They want so very much to help you.

Sometimes too, you might notice, these gifts are crazily inappropriate: a flower from your own garden, an unappetizing casserole, a pamphlet from a different church, or a pointless or banal suggestion: You will survive this… It’s for the best… Things will look better later…

They do not understand, you think. This is true. No matter. See them, even these clumsy words, for the acts of concern they are.  You might not feel like receiving people and their gifts, but do it anyway.  Open your door. Let everyone in. Fall into outstretched arms. Wet everyone’s shoulder with your tears.
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Let people hold you up in love.